Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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