Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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