I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
