One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
