WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize