just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
4 words: hood of his car
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
