If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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