did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
