I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
