it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize