well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
