so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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