KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize