didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
