i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Randomize
