I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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