oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
