make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
