I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize