i don't like sucking hair
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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