Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
