The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
