Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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