drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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