so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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