apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
