who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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