Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
