how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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