let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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