I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
