Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize