remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
