just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
