They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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