i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
