i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
