Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
