"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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