Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
