Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
