Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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