"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
