If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize