so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
