Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
