at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
