You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
