Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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