I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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