brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was so not down for the gang bang
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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