I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
