those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
