I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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