Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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