so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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