Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
