dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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