Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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