meet me or not, i'm out of control
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
