can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
there is puke in my bra ... again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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