My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
