my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize