I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I bet he comes in French.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize