Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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