hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
