i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
